מאמרים באנגלית

The listening circle, or council, is an ancient form of meeting that people used to conduct respectful conversation for thousands of years. The circle has served as the foundation for many cultures. The key element of the listening circle is the willingness of its participants to shift from a formal, opinionated, discussion into a receptive and thoughtful process of speaking and deep listening.

The listening circle is a structured process aimed to bring people together to better understand one another, build and strengthen connections, and solve social problem (e.g., in the community and the workplace). Listening circles facilitate conditions for people to work together to solve conflicts or make decisions in a safe and productive way. This process is being used for decision making, problem solving and conflict resolution in neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and criminal legal systems.

The listening circle has three main foundations. The first foundation is that every participant speaks with intention. That is, by speaking about something that has relevance to the conversation in the circle. The second foundation is to listen with attention. That is, every participant needs to be respectful for both the learning process and for all members of the group. The third foundation is to pay attention to the well-being of the circle by remaining aware of the impact of one’s contribution to the circle, both as a speaker and a listener (e.g., not to talk simultaneously when another participant speaks, avoid criticism, pay attention to the person who is speaking, speak according to the general topic).

The practice of Listening Circles, involves about 10—25 people sitting in a circle with one or two trained instructors. At the beginning of the Listening Circle, the instructors explain the rules of the circle. The first rule is that only one person talks at a time. The talking turns are signaled by a talking object, which is handed over between the participants around the circle, or placed in the center of the circle for interested participants to pick it up. Second, the instructors invite the participants to consider four ‘intentions’ when they participate: to listen from the heart, to talk from the heart, to talk succinctly, and to talk with spontaneity. Third, the instructors ask participants to avoid any positiveor negative-verbal feedback comments to one another. They are invited to express support after a person completed talking, by saying “Ho” or “Amen.” Finally, the instructors mention that speaking in the circle is not mandatory, and note that listening without speaking is also participation. That is, a participant who does not wish to speak can simply pass the talking object without speaking (or never pick it up from the center). The instructors practice the rules several times (usually 2—3 rounds) until participants become accustomed to the dynamic in the circle. After explaining and practicing the rules, the instructors invite the group to talk about a certain topic. The topic could be specific (e.g., thoughts and feelings about one’s position at work) or general (e.g., the most meaningful experience this year).

Although the listening circle has many benefits it has also numerous challenges. First, it is enough for one unsatisfied participant to break the intimacy and closeness created in the circle. Second, participants can get carried away by the good feeling of being truly listened to and lose sense of time. This will make them talk in greater length and upset other participants. Such occurrence will break the flow of the circle. Third, some people might feel intimidated by the intimate atmosphere in the listening circle. Such people would not gain as much benefit from the circle as others will, but more importantly, their embarrassment will sometimes be expressed as cynicism and sarcasm, which will have a negative impact on the rest of participants. Finally, one of the rules of the circle is that the things that are told in the circle remain in the circle. However, there is the risk that some participants will be carried away by the safe atmosphere created in the circle and reveal information that they will regret they shared afterwards. Given these challenges it is a perquisite that each listening circle involves at least one trained instructor who has been trained to deal which these challenges.

The Listening Circle is different from most listening training programs in its practical perspective. That is, while most listening training programs allocates the vast amount of time teaching theoretically about listening and its benefits, the Listening Circle, is aimed at creating conditions, such as sitting in a circle and holding a talking object, that facilitate high quality listening. That is, in the Listening Circle training less time is devoted to lecturing to trainees that listening is good and beneficial and more time is devoted for practicing listening skills under facilitating conditions. Interestingly, in listening circles, the quality of listening is enhanced not only by the listener but also by the speaker. Most of the rules in the circle are about speaking. For example: “Speak one at a time”, “talk from the heart”. This is different than other listening interventions which barely relate to the speaker.